Noah, I’m scared that I’m dying
How have you been? Or where
have you been?
There are weird spots on my tongue
and I’m convinced it’s cancer.
I haven’t thrown up in two days
but I also haven’t really eaten.
I’ll count it as a victory.
Noah, I’ve got that pain in my chest
that feels like a heart attack,
but you’re not here to keep me calm.
You weren’t last time, either, but
I can’t go to the hospital
by myself, again.
The way they look at me
makes me feel worse.
Noah, it’s just anxiety. I’m not
dying, but my throat hurts and
I can’t stop coughing.
I’m not dying. I’m not.
Noah, what’s your last name again?
I want to send you a postcard
from Jersey, just so you know
how good you’ve got it. Wherever
If I take a deep breath, I can
hear the wheezing in my chest.
I’m not dying, but I must be if
I’m so afraid that I am.
Noah, will you come melt
my bones and take me to the
If they tell me I’m making all
of this up, I’ll rip my hair out.
I’ll kiss them.